Do you ever get tired of talking to people?
Sometimes talking is so meaningless. There are maybe three people in this world with whom you regularly communicate outside of your mutual relational sphere: your mom, your significant other, and your best friend. In other words, three people with whom you discuss things deeper than work, or school, or catch-up gossip. But all the rest of those people bumping shoulders with you throughout the course of your day? The only communication that can realistically be expended on them is meaningless talk.
I was at a wedding reception today and I responded to the same inane, meaningless talk with the same inane, meaningless responses every time. "No, I'm not a Prov this year. Yes, I am at school. Saint-Boniface College. Yes, I'm sure you did know that. Very exciting, very busy, a little overwhelming." If I am so unconnected to these people that they don't even know what city I'm living in this year, I don't want to have to repeat my life plans to them over and over again. With every recitation of my excitement regarding my current circumstances, any actual excitement slowly faded until all that was left were the limp, blank words that grimly fell from my lips.
To have to express my uncertain anticipation with such certainty to such vaguely-concerned strangers strips me of my confidence, leaving nothing but a bright smile to mask my panicked eyes.
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4 comments:
Welcome to my life.
Last night I attended a play at church and it was the first time in months that I'd seen a few of the older members. And it was the same innane conversations: "No, you haven't seen me in a while," "yes, I still live in Winnipeg," "yes, I'm still finishing my degree," "No, it's a PhD. I've had my MA before I moved here, "yes, it is a long time."
Cities? I am not even sure what that means some days... Geography is like, so-o-o-o-o-o-o 20th century.
Unconnected can be a blessing in disguise. Especially when you know in your head that you see a bigger picture than most of the world.
I have been hiding behind a mask far too long, and I hate it. Yet, is it really my place to shed this mask in front of those who truly don't care about my inner-thoughts in the first place? I am sick of acquaintances. That was why I was so ready to leave high school, and why I'm so ready to leave college already. All it took was a year for me to want to move across the country and get away from everyone I vaguely know.
BAH-HA! I don't know who you are, but that post was amazing. Apparently it's not proper to tell people you're having a conversation with that you're terrible at small talk... but sometimes it seems to be the only way out. I can't stand small talk. After the 50th person asking me if I still live at home I start getting rather rude, I think I even begin to make faces or something. I'm great with philosophical or theological discussions, but please, keep the "so how you been"-s far away.
You get a bazillion kudos-
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